Trendy Divorce: The Ultimate Oxymoron

In these modern times, divorce is more of a norm than a lasting marriage. No matter the reason for the ending of a marriage, the effects are lasting for all involved, especially the children. Living in a healthy home with a married mother and father is the ideal and most healthy setting for children to be raised in. But, such an ideal family is not experienced by the majority. Most children are being raised in blended families, single-parent homes, cohabiting homes, and/or divorced homes. If children, usually by the time they are in high school, recognize that they want healthy marriages and homes, why is the majority of the population facing so much familial turmoil?

Elder Oaks of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus of Christ of Latter Day Saints states, “The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person” (Oaks, Dallin H. May 2007. Divorce. Ensign). Believe it or not, we have the power to choose how our marriages will progress based on what we observe in our dating and courtship. No one is perfect, and we will experience the flaws of a significant other no matter what. But whether or not those flaws are worth divorcing over should definitely be put into consideration. More often than not, marriages will grow stronger through forgiveness and repentance.  However, if a marriage proves to be unsafe for the children and/or the spouse, then a divorce would be more justified than if spouses just don’t love each other anymore. While divorce seems to be the answer to ending all of the problems in a marriage, it tends to bring more problems and effects the wellbeing of the children involved. Please think of the children, no matter the situation. Most of the time, they will not understand why their family is separated or why their parents have chosen to marry into other families. There are so many wonderful resources for couples and families in order to mend marriages and relationships such as counseling, therapy, and family resource centers. Even communicating with the children about how they feel about their current family dynamics could change the outlooks of the parents. Education, knowledge, and communication is key in understanding a relationship and truly see the relationship for what it truly is.

Marriage is a difficult journey and not something to take lightly. Divorce is not the “end game” button when we decide we are tired of playing. Many believe that they can prepare for marriage by cohabitation with their partner, and maybe even have kids with them, before getting married. However, these relationships often end in divorce more than those who didn’t cohabitate before marriage. We prepare for marriage by preparing and bettering ourselves to be the best spouses and parents we can be, and then continue throughout our marriages.

References

Oaks, Dallin H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign.